LESSON ONE
Active listening
Hey coaches and future coaches! Strap in because this first lesson we will be diving straight into one of the cornerstones of effective coaching: Active Listening.
This isn't your run-of-the-mill listening. This isn't the 'nod while scrolling through your phone' kind of listening. Oh, no no. This an art and a discipline. It's about immersing yourself so deep into the conversation that you soak up every word, every tone shift, every pause. It's about joining your clients in the labyrinth of their thoughts and helping them navigate it.
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?
Active listening is an essential tool in coaching that goes beyond communication. Let's boil it down to the key benefits that this superpower can bring to your coaching practice:
TRUST BUILDING: Active listening solidifies trust. It's your ticket to creating a safe space where clients feel comfortable revealing their fears, aspirations, and dreams. It’s the kind of trust that paves the way for open, honest, and impactful conversations.
DEEP UNDERSTANDING: By actively listening, you're diving beneath the surface, reaching the essence of your clients' thoughts and emotions. It’s like having a backstage pass to their psyche, offering you invaluable insights for your coaching.
EMPOWERMENT: Listening is empowering. When you actively listen and respond empathetically, you're saying, "Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter. You matter." This promotes active participation from your client in their transformation journey.
AUTHENTIC CONNECTION: Active listening fosters genuine, meaningful connections. It creates a non-judgmental space for your clients, improving the coach-client relationship into a genuine partnership leading to breakthrough and, most importantly, results.
Remember, active listening is more than a skill; it's an approach that defines your coaching practice. It's about recognising your client as a whole person and being present in every conversation. That's where the magic of transformation happens.
Non-verbal Communication Workbook
Active Listening Cheatsheet
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LESSON 1: the power of active listening
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- AVOID INTERRUPTIONS: Hold your horses, even when your mind is screaming to jump in to drop a piece of advice or ask a question. Resist the urge. Your client’s train of thought is a sacred space. Respect it. Let your clients express themselves fully. Think of their speech as an unfolding story. Don't rush the climax.
- NON-VERBAL CUES: This is where your body does the talking. Your nods, your eye contact, they’re your silent cheerleaders saying, "Go on, I’m right here with you." It validates your client's feelings and encourages them to open up to you.
- SUMMARISE AND PARAPHRASING: This is your secret trick to show your client that you are invested in what they are saying. Repeating back a brief summary of what your client just said can do wonders for clarity and reassurance. It gives them an opportunity to know they are understood, or correct you if you've misunderstood, which is really important.
- ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS: The ones that prod a bit, challenge a bit, encourages them to explore further and illuminates the crux of the matter. This is where you gently nudge them to explore more. Questions that start with 'what', 'how', or 'why' can really stimulate your clients' thinking and lead to profound insights.
- EMBRACE SILENCE: This one might be a bit tricky. We often rush to fill the silence, but here's the thing: silence is powerful. It's an invitation for your client to sit with their thoughts and feelings and possibly unearth deeper insights. Embrace it, it’s your secret weapon - especially when you don't know exactly what to say next.
Tricks
- FULL ATTENTION: When you're in a session, be all in. Your client should be the centre of your universe. Create an environment free from distractions. Your unwavering focus will amplify your active listening.
- PATIENCE IS KEY: Active listening is not a sprint; it's a marathon. Let the conversation flow at the client's pace, not yours. Remember, articulating thoughts and feelings can be hard, so give them the room to do so without pressure.
- STAY NEUTRALITY: As coaches, our role is to guide, not to judge. Regardless of what your client shares, keep your reactions neutral and supportive. Remember, we’re here to understand their perspective, not impose our own.
Tips
- OBSERVE A DAY OF LISTENING: Dedicate a day to actively listen to everyone you interact with. The cashier at the grocery store, the telemarketer who's trying to sell you something, your family, everyone. Notice the change it brings to your interactions.
- THE MIRROR EXERCISE: Pair up with a fellow coach or a friend. Share a story and have them paraphrase it back to you. Switch roles. Notice how it feels to be heard and understood.
- THE SILENCE CHALLENGE: In your next coaching session, introduce deliberate pauses after your client shares something significant. Resist the urge to fill the silence. Observe how your client uses this space and the depth it brings to the conversation.
Take Action
templates
Non-verbal Communication Workbook
Active Listening Cheatsheet
Need a bit more firepower to fast-track your development and supercharge your coaching sessions? Here are a few resources to get you started.
Downloads